The world blurs as I remember being high school sweethearts, never really thinking we would one day be here waking up and going to sleep next to each other every day. The sun hugged our home day in and day out, staying away only when he refused to speak, when I refused to listen. As the flowers began to bloom, my school and work hours started to get longer. Dinner time consisted of cold meals.
You’re late…
I stopped to grab food for us…
What did you do today? Who were you with? No really what did you do? Did you stay clear from trouble?
Are you mad?
Do not repeat the lies you told my family, tell me the truth.
You’ll hate it, let me tell you l-i…what will make you happy…
Beads of crystal roll down my forehead but it was still a good night.
Then that night every tick-tock, felt like a jab, the time kept mocking me for staying up late.
I paced back and forth in the kitchen, grabbed ice to make my skin feel its own warmth, splashed water on my face hoping the tears would get drowned out. It felt as if a thousand ants crawled all over my body and acid was oozing out of my scalp, setting it on fire and I could only scratch away pieces of skin and hair. Finally, I see the door open and with his head down he lays on the couch.
I clench my jaw and the pounding inside my chest deafens me.
I told you to be home at 1!
I know.
I told you I can’t do this anymore!
I know.
Why do you keep doing this! It hurts, everything hurts!
I don’t know.
Then stop, stop coming back, leave me alone, stupid promises you never keep!
I’m sorry…I don’t… I told you I am not good for you! I want that life and nothing you will do will change that!
It’s not about you, I just know this is the best thing… I’m out.
Just promise me you won’t cry and I promise you I won’t make you cry again.
The air feels heavy, I want to run, hide, fight, but my body does not respond.
I scream but my mouth does not move.
The sun shines through the window, to reveal black eye bags and a cold empty bed.
